August 7, 2004:
I was pretty unhappy. I called a counsellor at Saskatoon Mental Health and made an appointment. Her name was Suzanne, and she asked me what the appointment was about and I said 'Gender issues'. When I got off the phone my heart was beating so fast it was as if I had just run around the block.
August 19
I ordered 0.3 mg Premarin and some Diane-35 off the internet
September 1, 2004
I had my counsellor appointment and I cried my ass off. It was the first time I had really told anyone that I was transgendered. We called Gay and Lesbian Health Services and found out there was a support group in town for tg's so I decided to go there.
Note: I weighed 225 pounds.
September 2-5, 2004
I told my friends Heather, Deanne, Michelle and Jen that I was all tg'd up. Heather was first and hardest to tell. Lucky thing she guessed. Yeah that's right, she guessed. Deanne was next, she was the one I knew would be most knowledgeable, but she also was the most emotional. We had several conversations over the next few days over it. Michelle and Jen, well they didn't seem to think anything of it, but Michelle wished I had told her ten years ago. I wish that too.
September 10, 2004
I noticed around this date that I weighed just over 200 pounds. Somehow in a month I lost 20 pounds! I didn't do anything different at all but the weight was coming off like crazy. I decided to capitalize on this by exercising as well.
September 13, 2004
I went to my first transgender support group. Strangely that night my mom kept calling my cell phone. I think she called 3 or 4 times and I ignored them all. After the group I called back and she was frantic to know where I had been. Maybe somehow she knew something important was going on with me, who knows. In any case I also told my mom that night that I was transgendered.
September 17, 2004
At my birthday supper my brother-in-law and sister were telling us that they had seen a transsexual at the mall. They sounded disgusted, but it was at the way she was dressed more than the notion of gender identity disorder. In any case as they were talking I fell silent and my mom started saying "coffee anyone?!?! COFFEE?!?!? WHO WANTS COFFEEE!!" in an attempt to change the subject.
September 29
I applied for Blue Cross - thinking ahead to when I'd need prescription coverage.
September-November, 2004 (I may have dates for some of these events written down, I will add them if I find them)
I told pretty much all my friends and my immediate famly including my roommate. I ended up losing the roommate over it. It was also the beginning of the end of my friendship with Rob. He proclaimed to be supportive, but never did show any support. Instead he just pretended nothing was different and if I brought it up he'd say he didn't have time for my problems because he had his own. It is true, Rob does have problems.
I started the first of my laser hair removals on my face. Ouch!
I got a new doctor for myself and told her I was tg'd. She referred me to a psychiatrist.
December 5
I started to take the hormones I had bought.
December 9, 2004
I was feeling pretty good about my weight. I was down to 180 pounds and so I took some pictures one night to show my friend Kelly.
An interesting thing here is that I hadn't had a haircut in almost 6 months by this time but it still looks so short! If I had a picture from August my hair would have been anywhere from 0.1 to 1 centimetre long.
2 comments:
I like the way you always say things in such a positive way. The way you write that "Deanne" was the most emotional almost makes it sound like she didn't have a complete breakdown! Fortunately, her own selfishness and disappointment were overridden by contentment in knowing that you are finally happy. And you know, despite the fact that you two haven't talked in quite some time, she thinks of you often and misses you very much.
I am glad to hear that, because I think the world of her.
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