Why do people get so upset over words? What is so wrong with swears? I am talking about words like fuck and shit and piss. Hell, I learned those words from my mother.
What are swear words really? Aren't they are just words that represent places or things or actions? We almost always have a non-swear to mean the same thing, but if it is the same meaning, what is the difference?
Is there really any difference between the word shit and the word poop? Both words describe the same thing, yet one is said repeatedly to kids of any age, and one isn't allowed for them to hear until they are fourteen. Why does a different set of letters make such a difference?
There is a TV show called Battlestar Galactica. The writers wanted their characters to be able to swear, but it is a TV show so they couldn't. They decided that since it was a science fiction show, and the characters are all from a different planet, they could feasibly substitute the fake word 'frak' for the real word 'fuck' and the viewers would buy it. On this show it isn't uncommon to hear frak used as an expletive, or to hear that someone is frakking someone else. I am not completely sure, but I think they have even said "frak off!" They use it in an exact one to one replacement. Everyone watching the show understands the sentiment or action behind frak is exactly the same sentiment or action conveyed by the word fuck - yet it clears the censors. Once again, it isn't the meaning of the word... it is just the arbitrary letters that make up the word that are offensive.
Speaking of offensive, you may recall that I swore off the dating site www.plentyoffish.com (abbreviated from here on as PoF). I had been on the site for at least a year and I enjoyed using it. The only problem is that nobody knew what 'transgender' meant and I was getting sick of explaining it all the time. I decided it might clear things up for people if I changed it to read 'transsexual' instead. The next day my profile was gone.
I had no idea what had happened, so I just created a new profile. The next day that profile was gone too! Over the next few days every profile I made containing 'transsexual' was automatically deleted within minutes after creation. I could only imagine that the owners of the PoF website considered the word transsexual so vulgar and so offensive that any profile containing the word would be removed without warning (even though I had been using 'transgender' for a year and the definition of transgender includes the definition of transsexual).
At first I decided to forget the site and never return, but the injustice of it pissed me off so much I wasn't content to walk away for longer than an hour. As a test I made a new profile without the word and it was allowed to persist more than a day. I started sending messages to the moderators of the site. Nobody I spoke to could tell me why I was removed once, let alone multiple times. I presented my theory that the word transsexual was somehow deemed too vulgar and any profile with that word was auto-deleted. I was assured this was not the case. They said they had no explanation for why dozens of 'transsexual' profiles were removed when an otherwise identical profile was allowed to stay.
After a month or so my profile was still there, and I changed it to include 'transsexual'. Whatever the reason was, apparently transsexual is not a foul word to them anymore, but after using the site for a while I've discovered that many words still are.
Tonight I was on PoF chatting with a guy who said he was a big animal lover. We sent several messages back and forth and he mentioned having a dog, a cat and a bird. I mentioned that I had a cockatiel and suddenly he stopped replying. After a few minutes I made a joke, "I guess you are not a cockatiel lover!" No reply again.
About five minutes later he sent a message, "Hey where did you go?" I thought it odd since I had sent him two messages since his last one. I decided to check out what messages actually went through, and it looked like both messages containing the word cockatiel had been blocked. I decided to resend the first message, substituting c0ckatiel (note the zero instead of the 'o') for cockatiel and it went through.
Cockatiel is a fowl word, but not a foul word (oh that was a terrible, terrible joke). I don't think the problem was the entire word, but with it's constituent parts. It looked to me that the owners of PoF are upset by the letters 'c', 'o', 'c', and 'k'. They them so offensive that they won't even let any part of a message through if it contains that simple combination of three little letters in that specific sequence.
I couldn't help but notice that the word wasn't bleeped out. I would have thought the message would carry through, but 'cock' would have been turned into 'c**k', or something similar, but it wasn't. Instead though, the entire message was just blocked and deleted. This says to me that at some point a decision must have been made that no amount of information can redeem a message that contains a couple 'c's and an 'o' and a 'k' in some particular sequence. I now know the policy, but I just can't wrap my head around it. If indeed I wanted to say cock in the vernacular definition of the word, now that I know it is blocked there are other terms I could use instead that mean the exact same thing (I tried as many as I could think of*, and they all got through). Once again they are not concerned about blocking meaning, just those particular letters are censored.
I wonder how many broken hearts there have been after a shy man gathers up the courage to ask a woman out for cocktails only to have her never reply - because the PoF blocked the message for containing an arbitrary set of letters that they find offensive.
Right about now I find the letters PoF offensive.
* When I said I tried as many as I could think of, I meant it. I picked someone who had emailed me previously and I replied to him several times. Each reply contained one word that can mean the same as cock. Luckily I could only think of three alternative words, but even so... next time he logs in he will have three messages from me: "Penis", "Dick" and "Schlong".
P.S. Something shocking happened on PoF a couple weeks ago. I wish it had been censored so I wouldn't have had to see it. I logged in to see a picture of my ex-friend Rob smack in the middle of the screen. It was really upsetting to see his picture there... I mean come on, that picture is five years old! BTW, best line ever from a dating site profile: "first date? well that would probably be after a while of e-mailing, maybe talking on the phone eventually." Oh don't aim too high Rob!
P.P.S. I know why I don't often go on dates. I just got a message from a guy who said "I like to try different things, if you are interested." I replied with "As in food? I've always wanted to try ostrich burgers." It was a glib answer, but I just hate it when a first-time message cuts to the chase like that. I can't help but read his message like so "Hey, I am only talking to you because you are different and I want to try having sex with you." Am I wrong on that?
P.P.P.S. I still have a lot of resentment towards Rob. I am trying to get over it. Granted today's comments aren't exactly going to rekindle a friendship, but I've extended the olive branch at least a dozen times over the years. I do it by sending an email every so often after a particularly good episode of Doctor Who or Battlestar Galactica. I just want to discuss the program, but he has never replied. I guess where I harbour resentment Rob harbours something much stronger. Am I wrong on that?
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